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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some *shit*. This one time, chick’s profile said “vampire vibes only”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, Jarmusch would approve, right? “We’re not like the zombies,” she says in my head, all poetic. We vibe, we meet—turns out she’s just pale and likes wine. I was pissed, yo! False advertising! But then she laughed, and I’m like, “Aight, you cute, I’m in.” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ catfish, other half you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho.

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So, I’m driving, right? And I’m already late for my first deal. I’m sweating bullets. I pull up to this little warung on Jl. Ciampea, hoping to grab some nasi goreng. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, c’mon! How do you run out of fried rice? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw this cute little kid with a big smile, munching on some fried banana. Instant mood lift! Kids, man, they just get it.

Figure 1. Sites, Ciampea (lower right box) and Nyungcung limestone hill...