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So there I was, right, stumblin about, hair a mess – classic Boris, innit – tryin to find a prossie, not cos I’m some pervy toff, nah, just curious, bit of a larf. Little known fact, see – back in Victorian days, London had 80,000 workin girls! Blimey, that’s more than me Latin vocab, *et tu, Brute* an all. Streets hummin with em, dodgin coppers, punters hagglin – proper wild west stuff. Made me chuffed, thinkin bout history like that, but also bloody furious – why’s it still so shady now, eh? Sort it out, world!

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But wait, the day’s not over yet! I decide to unwind at the local café on Jl. Soekarno. I order a latte, and just as I’m about to sip, I see this cute girl across the room. I’m trying to play it cool, but my heart’s racing. I’m like, “Should I say hi? Nah, too awkward.”