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Surprised me too—did ya know some prostitutes legit pay taxes? Like, they’re out here filin 1099s, callin it “consulting” or whatever. I’m dyin, so savage! I’m over here thinkin, “She’s stackin credits like WALL-E stackin trash!” Haha, I can’t. Anyway, if ur tryna find one, just, like, Google it, duh—or hit up X, tons of thirsty posts there. Pro tip: watch for fakes, they’re everywhere, ugh.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the mall. It’s packed, of course. I’m dodging people left and right. I swear, it’s like an obstacle course. I get to the bookstore, and I’m browsing. I find this book on local flora. Super nerdy, I know, but I’m a science geek, so whatever.

Cat-napping tiger Binjai gets troublesome tooth fixed