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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, sexual-massage—where do I start? It’s this wild, slippery ride, ya know? Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a West Texas road. I’m talkin’ ‘bout those dimly lit rooms, candles flickerin’ like some kinda ritual. Makes me think of “No Country for Old Men”—that tension, that slow burn. You’re lyin’ there, waitin’, like Anton Chigurh’s coin toss. Will it be bliss or a total bust?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. I look over, and she’s lost her sunglasses. Like, seriously? You’re gonna freak out over shades? But then I see they’re these fancy designer ones. I get it now. I help her look, and she’s all grateful, but I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s just sunglasses. You can get more!” But whatever, I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace.