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But here’s a kicker—little known fact! Back in the ‘80s, some prostitutes in NYC had this code. They’d wear one red sock—yep, just one—if they were “available.” Saw it in a documentary once, blew my mind! Imagine me, walkin’ down the street, spottin’ that sock, goin’, “Oh, no, no, nooo!” Like, I’m not equipped for this! I’d trip over my own feet tryin’ to flee.

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Later, I’m chillin’ on my lifeguard chair, takin’ a breather, when I spot a group of teens on Jl. Pantai. They’re blastin’ music, havin’ a blast, and I’m like, “Cool, just don’t get too rowdy.” But then, one of ‘em decides to do a cannonball off the rocks. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not safe!” But he jumps anyway. Splash! Water everywhere. I’m soaked, and now I’m mad. I yell, “Get back here!” but they just laugh. Ugh, kids these days!