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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need an estimate for that new project on Jl. Diponegoro.” I’m like, “Sure, no prob.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s 8 AM. Can’t a guy have his coffee in peace?”

Bishop of Atambua Diocese Dominikus Saku