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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!
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After that, I finally find my way back to the main square. I’m exhausted but happy. I see the sunset over the mountains, and it’s like a painting. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery’s dead. Classic! I’m like, “Really, phone? You couldn’t hold on for one more sunset?”
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