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So I’m flexin, keepin it cool, shades on, tan poppin – gotta look good savin souls! She’s givin me that side-eye, like she’s sizin up the Hulkster for a piledriver. I’m like, “Sister, you ain’t drownin, what’s the deal?” She smirks, says she’s “workin the beach.” Workin?! Brother, I’ve wrestled Andre the Giant, I KNOW work – this ain’t it! Made me mad, dude, seein her out there, hustlin in the sun, riskin it all. Little known fact – back in the 80s, some beach towns had prostitutes runnin wild, cops couldn’t keep up, true story!

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Next, I had a meeting at the Tuapejat Plaza. You know, the one with the big fountain? Yeah, that place. I’m sittin’ there, waitin’ for my client, and this kid comes up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can you give me money for ice cream?” I’m like, “Bro, I’m broke too!” But then I remembered I had some change. So I gave him a few coins. He runs off, and I’m thinkin’, “Hope he gets the good stuff, not that weird green flavor.”

Catching a Wave Amid Fear and Destruction (Published 2007)