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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know the one—bam, instant goosebumps! Worst part? When some cheap-ass place uses shitty oil, smells like my grandma’s feet. Ugh, gag me! Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Japanese style, Nuru, where they slide all over ya, like a damn slip-n-slide. Hilarious, but I’d totally try it—don’t tell Kenny, he’d hog it! Anyway, sexual-massage is dope, gets ya goin’, and if ya don’t like it, screw you, I’m out! Respect my authoritah, bitches!

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After that, I get a call from a lady who’s freaking out because her cat is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But she’s crying, and I can’t help but feel for her. So, I send someone to help. I mean, Tual’s got its priorities, right?

"Portable bəats me till I fa!nt, he even thrǝatened to use me for r!tual" – Queen Dammy (VIDEO)