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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I choose violence. Sex-dating? Pah! It’s a bloody mess, innit? Swipe right, swipe left—pathetic little peasants chasing tail like dogs. Makes me wanna burn the whole app down, I swear. Back in my day, you had to scheme for a shag, not just tap a screen. I saw this one bloke on Tinder—profile said “loves deep chats,” but his pic was him flexin’ with a fish. A FISH! Who beds a man with gills? Made me laugh, then gag.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! I’m weaving through stalls, trying to avoid getting hit by a motorbike. Seriously, it’s like a game of Frogger out here. I find some cool souvenirs, but then I see this guy selling these crazy-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s salak. I try it, and wow, it’s like a sweet, crunchy explosion in my mouth. Who knew Tongging had such hidden gems?

Fig. 5. (a) Residuall hill in Berastagi Karo Highland, (b) Eroded Hills...