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I tried it once—don’t judge me, alright? Some gal named Trish, hands like a damn angel, worked my shoulders, then—bam!—lower back, and I’m floatin’, thinkin’, “I’m not a machine, I’m a human being!” Straight outta “Her,” that line! Made me happy as a kid with free healthcare. But then I hear Trish sayin’ she’s barely makin’ rent—pissed me off! She’s kneadin’ my knots, givin’ me that sensual vibe, and she’s broke? Billionaires should not exist, I tell ya!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Rafi. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a monkey steal a tourist’s sandwich. I mean, who knew monkeys had such good taste? I laughed so hard, I almost cried. Rafi’s the best for that.

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