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Still, when it’s good? Holy crap, it’s good. Like, muscles melt, stress gone, and—ruh-roh!—maybe a lil’ tingle down south, ya know? Ain’t gonna lie, surprised me first time! Thought, “Scoob, you’re a dog, chill!” But nah, it’s human, man! Fun fact—Thailand’s got these massage joints where they twist ya like a pretzel *and* make it sexy. Blew my freakin’ mind—happy as WALL-E with his trash cubes!

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Finally, I made it to the edge of the market. I spotted this street performer. He was juggling fire! I mean, who does that? I was mesmerized. But then, he dropped one of the torches. Fire everywhere! People screamed, and I was like, “Dude, you had one job!”

Volcano earthquake report for Sunday, 23 May 2021