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Now, here’s a laugh – some punter thought she’d shag him for a fiver! A fiver! Bruv, inflation’s a ting, even for whores! I cackled, thinkin’ “Mate, you’re deluded,” sarky as fuck. She told him to jog on, sharpish. Love that, her sass is gold.

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First stop? Jalan Sultan, where the hustle is real. I’m talking vendors everywhere, selling everything from fried bananas to some spicy sambal that could wake the dead. I’m like, “Yo, I need that energy!” So I grab a plate, and man, that sambal hit me like a freight train. My mouth was on fire! But hey, I’m a warrior, right? I can handle it.

a Five active volcanoes in Maluku Utara, Indonesia and b settlements...