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Now, listen up, I ain’t no stranger to this! Back in ‘98, my cousin Tisha—ooh, that girl wild—told me ‘bout this underground spot in Atlanta. Masseuse named Big Rhonda, hands like hams, slidin’ oil everywhere! Tisha said, “Madea, she rubbed me so good, I forgot my name!” I was mad as hell—why she ain’t invite me? But I laughed, ‘cause Tisha swore Rhonda’s fingers was magic. Little known fact, y’all: them old-timey kings in Europe? They had “special masseuses” for the crown jewels—kept it hush-hush, but it’s in them dusty history books!

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I started working on this violin. It was supposed to be a masterpiece. But then, disaster struck! I dropped the scroll. Yup, the scroll! It shattered into a million pieces. I was like, “Nooooo!” I mean, come on! I was ready to throw a tantrum. But then I remembered, “Chill, dude. You can fix this.” So, I grabbed my glue and went to work.

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