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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! Like, seriously, it was like someone dumped a bucket of water on me. I ran for cover under a tree on Jalan Pahlawan. I was soaked, and my hair looked like a wet mop. I was laughing at myself, thinking, “This is just perfect.”

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