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About Surabaya

Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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So, I’m strolling, right? And I see this food stall. Nasi goreng, my fave! I’m like, “Yesss!” But then, the guy behind the counter? Total grump. I order, and he just stares at me. Like, dude, I’m not asking for a kidney! Just some fried rice! Finally, he gives me this plate, and it’s HUGE. I’m talking, I could feed a small village. I’m happy, but also like, “What am I supposed to do with all this?”

26 missing, at least 13 dead in Indonesia landslides