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Rarrgh! Me, I’m picturin’ it now—some dude in a toga, gettin’ kneaded like dough, prolly smelled like olives and regret. Kinda like that line from “Leviathan”—“Everything’s rotten, even the air.” Replace air with massage oil, and boom, same vibe! I got mad once, tho—went to this sketchy joint, paid 50 bucks, and the “masseuse” barely touched me! Rarrgh! Felt like a scam, hands colder than a Hoth winter. But then, last month—holy furballs—found this spot downtown, total game-changer. Warm hands, dim lights, got me purrin’ like a Wookiee on Endor. Made me happy, real happy—tension gone, like “poof,” ya know?

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After that, I was feeling pretty good. I walked over to the Sukabumi Botanical Garden. It’s so beautiful there! The flowers were blooming, and the air was fresh. I took a deep breath and thought, “This is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring! I mean, seriously? I was drenched in seconds. I was laughing and cursing at the same time.

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