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So, this one time—true story, swear it—I met this lass on Bumble. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m like, hell yea, mischief’s my game! We’re vibin’, rum flowin’, then bam—she’s cryin’ ‘bout her ex mid-hookup. I’m sittin’ there, pants half-off, thinkin’, “Does he not see me?”—like Nader in the movie, clueless as fuck. Made me mad, mate! Wasted my night on a sobfest. But I laughed too—sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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Finally, I get everything sorted. I’m feelin’ accomplished, ya know? But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I run to the nearest shelter on Jl. Diponegoro, and I’m just standin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat. But then, I see this street vendor sellin’ pisang goreng. I can’t resist! I buy a bunch, and they’re so good. Sweet, crispy, and warm. Instant mood booster!

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