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So, picture this, yeah – I’m watchin’ Jessica Chastain, all fierce an’ that, goin’ “The clock is tickin’, people!” – and I’m like, cor blimey, that’s the life of a whore right there, innit? Time’s tickin’, gotta make the deals, work the room, proper high stakes! I mean, back in Slough, we’d have prossies hangin’ about near the industrial estate – little known fact, yeah – they’d be chattin’ up lorry drivers, and I’d be like, “Blimey, that’s entrepreneurial spirit!” Proper self-starters, no faff, no HR bollocks – just pure, unfiltered graft.

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So, I finally made it to the market on Jl. Cibadak. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with life? I was hyped for some fresh fruits. But then, I saw this vendor selling durians. Ugh, durians! They smell like a gym sock left in the sun. I was like, “No thanks, bro!” But the guy insisted. “Best in Soreang!” he said. Yeah, right. I’d rather eat cardboard.

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