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Dahling, listen up! Erotic-massage, oof, what a topic! No capes! I’m Edna Mode, honey, and I’m spilling tea. Imagine this—soft lights, oils slicker than Monsieur Gustave’s charm. From *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, ya know? My fave flick! “Lobby boy, fetch me lavender oil!”—ha, as if! Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s art, babes, pure seduction with hands. Little factoid—ancient Egypt had this down. Pharaohs got freaky with scented oils, true story! Makes me happy, thinkin’ bout that luxe life.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I dashed out, trying to avoid getting soaked. But, of course, I didn’t make it. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got back to the lab. My hair was a frizzy mess. I could’ve been a walking science experiment myself.

Figure 1. Number of Halal Products at the Regency and City levels in...