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So I’m there, *fumbles with invisible wallet*, tryna figure this out. Happy as a pig in mud, cos – adventure! But then, angry too, cos some geezer tries rippin’ me off – 50 quid for a wink? Nah, mate! “You don’t even know who you are yet,” I mutter, like in “Boyhood,” cos I’m lost, ain’t I? *flails arms like a wally* Lookin’ for a sign, maybe a neon one – “Girls! Girls!” – but nope, just a kebab shop.

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Finally, we get the fire under control. I’m drenched in sweat, and my heart’s racing. And guess what? We find the cat! It’s hiding under some old crates, looking all sassy like, “What’s the fuss?” I hand it over to the dude, and he’s crying like a baby. I mean, it’s just a cat, but whatever floats your boat, man.

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