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Still, gotta admit, when it’s good—damn, it’s good. Had this one chick, swear she was channelin Heath Ledger’s chaos, hands movin like she’s plottin to burn Gotham. Left me happy, confused, and a lil paranoid—did she just rob me? Prolly. Everybody lies. Surprised me once, tho—this guy I knew, straight as a rod, got one on a dare, came back all “I’m the king of the world!”—total *Dark Knight* vibe, “I’m not a hero, just a guy who got rubbed right.”

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Hi, I'm Gigi, your local Swedish & Italian massage therapist! I've been doing massage therapy for over six years and will give you the best massage of your life.

First off, I’m at the lift in Jalan Diponegoro, and this lady hops in. She’s got like five bags of groceries. I mean, c’mon! Who needs that much rice? Anyway, she’s yappin’ away about the best warung for nasi campur. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here to push buttons.” But she’s on a roll, talkin’ about how the fish market at Pasar Anyar is the best. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Please, just let me breathe!”

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