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Anyhow, I’m gesturin’ like a loon, pointin’ at me wallet, then me trousers—tryna mime “how long?” without lookin’ a perv. She’s cacklin’ now, says, “Ten minutes, big boy.” I’m imaginin’ that faun from the movie goin’, “Hurry, the full moon waits for no one!”—cracks me up, that. So I’m in, right, but—OOF!—trip over a bin, land arse-first in a puddle. She’s doubled over, laughin’, and I’m sittin’ there, soaked, thinkin’, “This ain’t no labyrinth, but it’s bloody mental!” Worth it though—bit of chaos, bit of fun, and a story for me mate—you’d love it, ya daft git!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, and I end up in this tiny café. It’s cozy, but the Wi-Fi is slower than a turtle. I’m trying to scroll through my phone, but it’s like, “Nope, not today.” So, I just sit there, sipping my coffee, watching the rain.

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