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Honey, listen up, I’m Beyoncé, slayin’ it! Sex-dating? Ooh, it’s a wild ride! Like “Inherent Vice,” all hazy and sexy. You dive in, not knowin’ who’s who. Apps like Tinder—bam, instant hookups! Swipe right, slay, you’re in business! I’m all about empowerin’—own it, queens! But ugh, the fakes? Drives me cray! Dudes lyin’ bout their height—girl, bye! Once matched this guy, total Doc Sportello vibes. Thought he’d be chill, smokin’ hot—nah! Showed up, breath stinkin’, no game. “What’s happening here?” I’m yellin’ inside! Still, sex-dating’s got its perks, y’all. Quick fling? Slay! No strings, just fun. Did ya know—back in ’90s, folks used newspapers for this? Ads like, “Single, horny, call me!” Wild, right? Makes me laugh, so retro! I’m all, “Sorta like me, huh?”—sass overload! Sometimes it’s steamy, like movie scenes. Other times? Total flop—awkward AF! This one chick—met her, sparks flew! Next day, ghosted me—rude! Got me mad, but I’m unstoppable! “I ain’t thinkin’ bout you!”—ha! Sex-dating’s a gamble, keeps ya guessin’. Ever tried it in a car? Slay! Risky, hot, total thrill! Little secret—25% of users catch feels. Oops, messy! I’m like, “Diggin’ the scene?”—watch out! Favorite part? Feelin’ fierce, takin’ control. So, boo, you tryin’ it? Slay it, own it!

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this street vendor on Jl. Siliwangi selling the best pisang goreng. I mean, who can resist that? I grab a piece, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid bumps into me. I drop my pisang goreng! NOOO! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man.

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