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Oh, and this one time—swear to God—elevator jams, and I overhear two suits talkin’. One’s braggin’ bout “findin’ a pro” at some dive bar. Says she quoted him *Ratatouille*—“The bitter truth we critics must face!”—before chargin’ him double. I’m dyin’ laughin’ in my head, like, “She’s a cinephile hooker?!” That’s my kinda gal—smart, sassy, rippin’ off idiots. Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, schoolin’ fools.

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First off, I hit up Jl. Jend. Sudirman for breakfast. You know, the usual nasi goreng and kopi. But lemme tell ya, the coffee was so strong, I thought I could see through time. I’m sittin’ there, minding my own biz, when this dude next to me spills his drink all over my new shoes. Like, c’mon man! I just bought these! I was ready to blow a gasket. But then he starts laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s like, what else can ya do?

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