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Now, *Moulin Rouge!*—oh, it gets me goin’! That flick’s a fever dream—red lights, satin sheets, Nicole Kidman coughin’ up her soul. “Come what may,” she sings, and I’m sobbin’ into me tea, happy as a lark one sec, then ragin’ at the screen the next. Why? Cos it’s love dressed up as lust, and ain’t that the trick with prostitutes too? You’re payin’ for a dance, a whisper, a “my heart is—oops, time’s up, mate.” Surprised me first time I clocked it—how it’s all theatre, really.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I duck into a café on Jl. S. Parman, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! I mean, seriously? What kind of café runs outta coffee? I was about to lose it again.

Jokowi heads to Kupang, Palangkaraya, Prabowo to Yogyakarta on campaign trail