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It’s all hush-hush, yeah? Little fact for ya—back in Victorian times, docs used “massage” to fix “hysteria” in women. Hysteria my arse, just horny lasses needing a good knead! Bet they didn’t play Chopin in the background, though—Polanski’s film got that haunting vibe, “Play me something!” I’d demand, picturing meself as Szpilman, but with less Nazis and more coconut oil.

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After that, I needed a break. So I strolled down to Alun-Alun Mojokerto. The park was packed! Families chillin’, kids runnin’ around, and the street food vendors were out in full force. I grabbed some sate and it was fire! Like, I could’ve eaten a hundred sticks. But then, I saw this dude tryin’ to juggle. Spoiler alert: he dropped everything. I mean, come on, bro! Stick to one thing, ya know?

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