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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, we start moving again. I’m practically doing a victory dance in my head. We pull into the next station, and I bolt out like I’m escaping a sinking ship. I dash through the crowd at Dukuh Atas, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course.

Lawn watering restrictions take effect in Metro Vancouver