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But then, oh boy, the wins! Hooked up with this one chick—total fire. We’re vibin’, laughin’, and she’s like, “I’ve never done this before.” Yeah, right, babe, sure ya haven’t! Little-known fact: sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupae,” hookers in wolf dens, bro. Wild shit! Makes ya wonder—am I a wolf or just a horny ratcatcher?

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Jl. Pahlawan. I’m like, “Cool, let’s check it out!” So we head over, and it’s this cute little spot with a view of the Martapura River. But the coffee? Ugh, it’s burnt. I’m sipping it, trying to be polite, but it’s like drinking liquid regret. Rudi’s cracking jokes, and I’m just nodding, trying not to gag.

Fig. 2. Map of land use along Riam Kanan, Riam Kiwa and Martapura River.