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Favorite movie, *Her*, fits perfect. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? Sexual-massage feels like that—leavin’ past stress behind, all slick and sexy-like. I’m picturin’ it now, some gal or guy, workin’ them knots out, and—bam!—you’re floatin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but hell, it’s *that* good. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—didn’t expect no fireworks down south, y’know?

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Then, this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. He orders a drink, but he’s so loud, I can’t even hear him. I’m like, “Bro, chill! We’re not at a concert!” But he’s all hyped up, talking about some festival happening down by the river. Apparently, it’s a big deal, and I’m like, “Great, just what I need—more people!”

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