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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a beast in the ring, a Bestiary gladiator, and I’m here spillin’ tea on sexual-massage like Judge Judy rippin’ into a deadbeat dad. Sexual-massage, huh? It’s that steamy, slippery slope where hands get wild and tensions melt faster than a popsicle in a microwave. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain – I ain’t buyin’ that “it’s just a rubdown” nonsense! This ain’t your granny’s back massage, nah, it’s got that spicy edge, that “ooh, what’s happenin’ here?” vibe.

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So, I’m trying to calm them down, but it’s like herding cats. Finally, I just throw a round of shots their way. “On the house!” I yell. They quiet down, and I’m thinking, “Phew, crisis averted.” But then, the wild-haired dude starts dancing on the bar. I’m like, “What is happening?!”

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