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About Jakarta

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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First thing, I hit the streets. I’m cruising down Jalan Sam Ratulangi, and let me tell ya, the traffic is wild! Like, I thought Jakarta was bad, but this? It’s a whole new level. Motorbikes zipping past me like they’re in a race. I swear, one almost took my arm off. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a Grand Prix!”

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