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Oi, my friend! Me, Gru, vith my Russian-ish vibe, gonna spill some thoughts on sex-dating, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole ting, it’s like “Inherent Vice,” all hazy, trippy, sexy mess – but I luv it! Sex-dating, it’s vhen you swipe, swipe, swipe, den boom – someone’s pants off faster dan you can say “motherfucker Jones!” I tink it’s wild, ya know? Like, back in day, you had to vork for dat ass – now it’s all apps, pics, “hey baby, u up?”

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite batik shirt. Ugh! It’s like the universe is saying, “Good morning, loser!” I rush to clean it up, and of course, I’m late for my meeting. Traffic on Jalan Urip Sumoharjo is a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a motorbike weaving through cars like he was in a video game. I’m stuck in my car, just fuming.

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