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So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right? Dim lights, smells like cheap lavender and sweat. Bloke’s there, hands oiled up, givin’ you the “relax, love” spiel. Mate, I’d sooner trust a Tyrell with my throne than this git with my bits! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on gladiators, knead ‘em up proper sensual before a fight. Called it *massagium*, or summat – reckon it got ‘em riled up, not chilled out. Bet half of ‘em were ragin’ hard-ons in the arena, poor sods.

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Finally, I wrap up my day, exhausted but happy. Majene, you’ve got my heart. You’re wild, unpredictable, and full of surprises. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. But for now, I’m just gonna crash. Peace out, Majene! You crazy, beautiful place.

The Sandeq Race