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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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Finally, I made it to Alun-Alun. Rudi was there, lookin’ all smug. He had this giant bowl of bakso. I was like, “Dude, save me some!” But he just laughed and said, “You snooze, you lose!” Ugh, so annoying. But I couldn’t stay mad. The vibe was too good.

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