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So, escorts—fancy word for “paid plus-one,” yeah? Not just the steamy stuff folks assume—I mean, sure, that happens, but it’s more. Some dude in Vegas once hired an escort just to cry about his ex over martinis. True story! They’re shrinks with heels, babysitters for rich weirdos, arm candy for egos too big to solo. I read this bonkers tidbit—back in the ‘20s, Paris escorts had coded handkerchiefs to signal “I’m free” or “I’m pricey.” Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave would’ve tipped his hat to that hustle.

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Man, what a day! Lhokseumawe, you wild city! I woke up, and the sun was already blazing. Like, come on, give a guy a break! I’m not a morning person, ya know? Anyway, I rolled outta bed, grabbed some nasi goreng from the street vendor on Jalan Merdeka. Best breakfast ever! Seriously, if you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out.

Figure 1. Varieties of patchouli Aceh. Tapak Tuan (b) Lhokseumawe and...