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But then – ugh – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, her pimp prob’ly. I’m fumin’ – “Oi, mate, delegate with respect!” He’s givin’ me the evils, and I’m like, “I’m the philosopher-king of this car park!” Straight out the movie, that – “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Surprised me, how quick I got riled up. Nearly lamped him, but I’m a pacifist, me – well, ‘cept in my head, where I’m Bruce Lee.

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First off, I hit up Jl. Legian. You know, the main drag? It’s like a circus out there. Tourists everywhere, like ants on a picnic. I’m just tryin’ to get my morning coffee at this little warung. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this crazy mustache, like a walrus or somethin’. I order my usual, and he’s like, “You want it strong or strong?” I’m like, “Dude, I need it to slap me awake!”

Lively Nightlife In Bali’s Legian Continues To Give Tourists The Best Travel Memories