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In the end, I’m happy, she’s paid, and I’m screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” as I bounce. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, but damn, it’s a rush. Next time, I’m bringin’ more cash—and maybe a scout hat, just for kicks. Seriouslah, you try it, you’ll see!

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After that, I head to the beach. Legian Beach, man, it’s gorgeous. The waves are crashin’, surfers are out there lookin’ like pros. I’m just chillin’, watchin’ the sunset. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me, selling bracelets. He’s like, “Mister, buy one! Good price!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m broke!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ two. I mean, how can you say no to that face?

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