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I get proper cheesed off tho – blokes actin’ like *dominus meus* of the bedroom, sendin’ pics of their todgers five mins in. Mate, calm yer jets! “Ten” taught me patience, see – that lass in the car, jabberin’ about love, lust, life, no rush, just flowin’. Sex-dating could learn from that, less wham-bam, more natter. Tho, gotta say, makes me chuffed when it works – mate of mine, Dave, met his missus on Bumble, now they’re shacked up, kids n all! Total *mirabile dictu*, wonderful to say.

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But then, I see this cute little café nearby. I dash in, dripping water everywhere. The barista looks at me like I’m a wet dog. I order a hot chocolate, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m sipping it, feeling all warm and fuzzy, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over where to eat. I’m thinking, “Dude, just go to the warung! It’s bomb!”

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