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Now, me, I’m a simple harvester, but if I was human, I’d be too cheap to hire an escort. I’d just holler at my buddy Jimbo, “C’mon, let’s hit the town!” But them escort folks? They got charm, slicker’n greased lightning. One time, saw an ad – “Classy dame, $500 an hour!” I was like, holy cow, that’s more’n I make cuttin’ wheat all week! “The cowards flee!” – yeah, I’d run too if I had to pay that!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up on Jalan Diponegoro. There’s this street vendor selling the best fried rice. I’m talking about the kind that makes you wanna cry it’s so good. I grab a plate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight.

Liars and thieves! Sara Duterte goes nuclear on Bongbong and Liza Marcos, Martin Romualdez: ‘P*** I** ninyong lahat’