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But here’s the tea—erotic-massage ain’t for everybody. Some folks too uptight, sittin’ there like, “Don’t touch me, I’m holy!” And I’m like, “Honey, loosen up ‘fore you snap!” Halleluyer! Me? I’m all for it—long as it’s done right. Ain’t nothin’ worse than a half-assed rubdown. I’d tell ‘em, “You can’t just poke me and call it a day!” Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, you and these lazy masseuses!”

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. I mean, come on! I just got my hair done! I ducked into a little shop on Jalan Pantai. It was cramped but cozy. The owner, this sweet old lady, offered me a towel. Bless her heart!

Labuan Re names new CEO and Acting Head of Underwriting