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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle out there, like me stuck in this damn elevator with horny strangers all day. One time, I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill fer a threesome,” then bam—match with twins! TWINS, ya’ll! “Don’t be a pussy, get in there!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, hypin’ myself up. Didn’t happen, tho—fuckin’ catfished by some loser. Made me rage so hard I punched the elevator buttons—broke the damn 3rd floor one, oops.

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After the meeting, I decided to stroll down Jl. Setiabudi. The vibe was nice, but then I saw this street vendor selling some crazy snacks. I couldn’t resist! I got some kerupuk and this spicy sambal. OMG, my mouth was on fire! But it was so good! I was happy, but also regretting my life choices.

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