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Ever tried it? I ain’t, ‘cause—hello—sponge here, no muscles! But I’d be bouncin’ off me pineapple walls thinkin’ bout it! Pro tip: they say dim lights, warm oil—coconut’s the bomb—makes it feel like “love is an illusion,” all dreamy and hot. Got me gigglin’ like a sea cucumber! Oh, but once—heard a story—some dude fell asleep durin’ one! Snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—HILARIOUS! Made me mad tho, like, c’mon, respect the art, barnacle brain!

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I’m munching on sate, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m so happy, I could cry. But then, I see a rat scurry by. I’m like, “Nope, not today!” I finish my food and head out.

West Ham learn length of Mohammed Kudus ban after Tottenham red