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So, I’m thinkin’, where’s the best spot? Vegas, maybe—glitzy, wild, perfect. Or some back alley in NYC—gritty, real, Trump-style. I’d say, “Hey, darlin’, you’re hired!”—total boss move. “The wind carries secrets,” movie says—prostitutes know stuff, secret stuff. Little-known fact: old-timey hookers in the Wild West? They ran towns, folks—powerful, like me, Trump.

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The kid starts cryin’, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I rush over, and I’m like, “Hey buddy, wanna share my food?” He stops cryin’ and looks at me like I’m a superhero. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share a plate of deliciousness? We end up laughing, and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

December 25, 2001: Train crash in Indonesia kills 42