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Angry part? Society’s hypocrisy—condemns it, then Googles it. Happy? When it’s done right—rare as hell. Personal quirk—I’d rather diagnose than disrobe, but to each their own. Erotic-massage ain’t curing lupus, but it’s a trip. “This is the girl,” I’d smirk, limping outta there—satisfied, skeptical, and still the smartest asshole in the room. Everybody lies, ‘cept me—I’m just a sarcastic bastard watching the show.

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I start climbing this massive mangrove. It’s like, “Hey, I’m just here to do my job, not audition for a circus.” Halfway up, I spot a family of monkeys. They’re just chillin’, throwin’ stuff at each other. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your entertainment!” But then one of ‘em throws a coconut at me. I duck just in time. Phew! Close call.

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