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So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a bad Craigslist ad, but it’s real, yo. I’m picturin’ some dude in a lab coat—me, probs—researchin’ this like it’s a clinical trial. Consent forms? Check. Risky behavior? Double check. I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ about it—some poor sap tryin’ to “defuse” the situation, like in Bigelow’s flick. “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” she says—ha! Swap battle for a shady motel room, and bam, you’re hooked, buddy.

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So, I finally find a spot near the edge of the river, right by the bridge on Jl. Sumber Rejo. I cast my net, feeling all hopeful. But then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey, you catchin’ anything?” I’m like, “Dude, I just threw my net!” But he just stands there, staring at me like I’m some kinda fish whisperer.