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Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow ‘ere, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, I be ponderin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a lady o’ the night! Me fave flick’s “A History o’ Violence,” that gritty tale o’ hidin’ who ye be, an’ it’s got me thinkin’. Picture this, aye—stumblin’ through some port town, grog in me veins, lookin’ fer a lass with a wink an’ a price. “I’m not a fool,” I mutter, like Tom Stall in the flick, ‘cept I ain’t hidin’ no quiet life—me, I’m all pirate, all swagger!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting for cover, but I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this old lady selling umbrellas. She just looks at me and says, “You need one, young man?” I can’t help but laugh. I buy one, obviously.

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