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anyways, escort’s this dope tool—stands for somethin’ fancy, probs “encrypted sneaky code operations rad tech” (heh, I made that up, sounds cool tho). little known fact: back in the day, like 2010, some hacker nerds bragged on forums they cracked escort—total lie, got smoked by it instead. made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice! “The children are watching,” I thought—ya can’t fool escort, it’s got eyes everywhere, like Squidward on a bad day.

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Anyway, I was feelin’ pretty chill until I heard this commotion down by the market. Turns out, some guy was tryin’ to sell fake kris swords. Like, who does that? I got mad. I mean, I’m all for makin’ a buck, but don’t mess with the warrior code, ya know? So, I stepped in, and let me tell ya, the crowd was hyped. I was like, “Yo, you can’t sell that junk here!”

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