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Humor? Shit, imagine me, Tony, gettin’ one—yellin’, “All I have in this world!” while she’s kneadin’ my ass! Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh, great, another stiff neck,” but nah, it’s stiff somethin’ else, ha! Love it, hate the stigma—people need to chill. Thoughts in my head? Wonderin’ if that Stasi prick’d bug a massage room—fuckin’ pervert would. Sexual-massage, man, it’s the real deal, underrated as hell. Say hello to my little friend, and book one, pronto!

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Then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, are you a real warrior?” I couldn’t help but smile. I mean, who wouldn’t? I told him, “Yeah, kid. But it’s not all glory and battles.” He looked at me like I was crazy. Kids, man. They just don’t get it.

Young Muslim boys undergo a mass circumcision in Sumatra in pictures