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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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The guy just laughed. I was ready to throw down, but then this old lady, bless her heart, stepped in. She was like, “Chill, young blood. Let him be.” I mean, she had a point. But still, I was fired up. I hate when people try to pull a fast one.

Smothering Ash Cloud from Sinabung Volcano